When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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