It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
