We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
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there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
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I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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