O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
