he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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