Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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