You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Even my vagina gasped.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
