My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize