you should give me head with plastic fangs in
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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