I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize