haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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