You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
