oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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