Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize