The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
