i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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