he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
