you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
