guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
