i permit you to call me
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
