My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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