I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
