thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I am mentally ready for anal.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
