Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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