we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
