Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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