i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
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Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
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You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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