This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
