I cannot find my penis.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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