Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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