if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Let's get the cat blown out
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
