Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I would fuck him just for his dog
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
