Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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