last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
