I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
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yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
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I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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