My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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