dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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