Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
