Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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