He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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