I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
now i know why i became what i already was.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
