VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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