i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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