a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
