It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
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i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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