i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
