Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
