we're chasing vodka with high fives
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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