do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
