i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize