I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
