Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
