im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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