Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
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I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
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i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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