What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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