dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
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Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
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Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Shame - the story of my life.
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