it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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