check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
How many fucks given?
0.12846
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
