Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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