fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
