Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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