I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
