What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
