Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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