the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
