I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
