I think I died a long time ago.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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