erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
