his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
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Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
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No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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