Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
